Alfred A Mulliken Jr

Alfred Augustus Mulliken, Jr.               AGE: 75

DOD:                                        Place: David Simpson Hospice House in Cleveland

DOB:  January 17, 1940             Place: Beverly, MA

Residence: Chester Twp.                  Length: since 1981

Memberships/Hobbies:  Alfred was a Graduate of Purdue University with a B.S. in Industrial Management, and a Vietnam Veteran, US Army.  He was a Certified Insurance Instructor, State of Ohio, Dept. of Insurance and a West Geauga Local School District Board Member from 1992 - 1999. (Vice-President in 1992, 1993, and 1999).  Alfred was a proud member of the West Geauga Performing Arts Foundation (President 2000 – 2002), the West Geauga Kiwanis (Past President), Cleveland City Club, and the Chesterland Chamber of Commerce.  He enjoyed playing racquetball, golf, skiing, camping, and hiking.

Occupation: Alfred founded the Mulliken Agency in 1984, incorporating the agency in 1993 as Health, Retirement, & Benefit Planning Corp.

Survivors: children Katharina “Tina” (John) Voss, Audrey (John) DuRoss, Alfred Augustus, III “Gus” (Amber), and Madeleine “Mindy” Mulliken; grandchildren Evan and Madeleine Voss, and Ruby and Owen DuRoss; siblings David (Noreen), Linda (Mihail Filip) Mulliken, and Sarah Mulliken; mother of their children Gerlinde "Gigi" Mulliken; and beloved Carol Goodman.

Predeceased: parents Alfred, Sr. and Elizabeth Mulliken

Visitation: Monday 5-7 pm                             Place: Gattozzi and Son Funeral Home

                                                                                     12524 Chillicothe Rd.  Chester Twp.

Funeral Time/Date of Service:  Celebration of Life 7:00 pm, Monday, December 14, 2015

Place of Service:  Gattozzi and Son Funeral Home

Officiant:

Burial: Interment at a later date in Woodlawn Cemetery, Boston, MA

Remarks: In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in Alfred’s name may be made to the Kiwanis Club of West Geauga, P.O. Box 553, Chesterland, OH 44026.  Online tributes and condolences at www.gattozziandson.com

On December 8th I went home to Ohio to meet my siblings.  My dad was already in the hospital, diagnosed with brain cancer which was affecting him more each day.  It was so hard being far away, having a family and business, and not knowing without having eyes on him, when to go.  By the time I got there he was not able to say my name.  I think he knew we were all there.  It is a very humbling and painful experience to watch someone die.  And, I am so glad I was there.  I think I was afforded closure that many are not granted.  I never felt like I left words unsaid between us.  Despite our complicated relationship, a few years ago we found a place where I could say what I needed and wanted to say, and really, I didn't need to say much.  My relationship with my dad is one of the things I am most proud of in life.  I feel like I learned to let go of expectations, rigidity, and conditions through love.  I learned that love is more often a choice than a feeling or a desire.  I learned that I can forgive and still feel angry or disappointed, and it doesn't mean I didn't forgive.  I learned that boundaries keep any relationship healthy and strong, whether it is going well or wether it is going through tough times.  It felt good to show up, spend these last days with my family, and be with each other.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.

In the hospital we did things like look at pictures, eat birthday cake, and hang out, sometimes with visitors. :)

Eventually we moved to hospice, where he passed away a few days later.  The day he passed, us girls were running late getting to hospice.  So many details to take care of while we were there, including selling his business, which he hadn't quite finished before he was admitted, but wanted to.  It had to be completed before he passed, and we did end up completing this task for him, but man, it was stressful.  Anyway, we didn't get there until later in the day, which was usually his better time of day. About 20 minutes after we arrived, Carol left the room, and he took his last breath.  It was as if he waited for us to arrive and say one more goodbye.  We laughed because we had spent so many experiences waiting for him over the years.  It was nice that he waited for us this day.  I didn't realize how important it was to me to be there for this moment.  I had my most spiritual moment with him by myself.  All the weight of anticipation and unknown were gone.  I could finally say goodbye with more finality, forgive and be forgiven, and say thank you, thank you, thank you.  I felt both pain and relief in a place I didn't know existed...my chest? my heart? No, deeper than both...so hard to explain.  Ruby and Owen were into this song, "See You Again" when I left town.  It is about a loss and now I listen to it often when I am by myself and revisit this moment as vividly as I can again and again.  I know, maybe weird of me to write about all this, but this is the story of my loss, and I don't want it to get lost or forgotten in the business of life.  So, RIP dad.  I love you.

The famous Mulliken Manhattan.  Cheers.

Posters Mindy made for the memorial.