Four months

Chip is still in Ecuador and I have been so fortunate to have my weekends full of fun, making the time apart easier. I will do an update about the action packed visits as soon as I finish gathering pictures.

For now, just an update about this incredible journey we are on...the one that never stops growing and changing even when I'm sleeping. I will update with pictures once Chip is home too, but for now, you will have to conjure your own. Like this one... I have been nauseous since about week 7 on and off throughout the day, forcing myself to eat most of the time, not actually throwing up often, but getting pretty close and going through all the motions daily. And I think finally, I have turned a corner at 16 weeks, but not without a grand finale.

I was busy at work and did not get the mandatory snack/meal in within the every two hour time frame. I attempted to calm the nausea with a banana and some pumpkin seeds I had in my desk before being able to get to lunch at home. As I am driving home, in a company van that someone else will be using within the half hour, I start to feel really sick. Thinking, "this too will pass" and trying some breathing, I keep driving. Only to figure out quickly that this is no false alarm. "I really don't want to clean this van out" I say to myself and quickly pull over, barely making it out of the car and to some landscaping to catch my snack from earlier. It was a rough go...probably worst one yet. Sweaty, sticky, and out of sorts, I look up from my delivery only to notice that I just helped a good handful of people work towards meeting their diet goals for the day as they pushed their food and drinks aside at the outdoor cafe seating in front of me. awesome. I waved, smiled, resisted the temptation to explain myself (they deserve to have a good story too after having to watch that- let them make up whatever they want!), hopped back in the van and drove home to clean up. How about I leave out any pictures of that one.

On a nicer note, the belly is growing, and it blows my mind that there are two people inside me. I have watched so many friends and family go through this process, but being in the driver's seat is a pretty different perspective. When people find out why I am getting fatter they ask, "Are you excited?" ...of course I am excited. But, it is true that you can not live in a constant state of excitement. However, I get these little intense moments of excitement. Like the other day, I was walking the dog on our usual route that we have been doing for over a year now. I know the houses, the kids that come out, the cracks in the sidewalk. It must be this familiarity with all the exterior stimulation that allowed some deeper sense of self all of a sudden because I looked down, saw my bulging front side through my now tight t-shirt, and literally, it took my breath away. I was in complete shock and awe of what is going on, what we are in for, what we did...as if I was noticing it for the first time. But really, that is the crazy part. I have thought about it a million times. Chip and I talked about "our kids" before we talked about getting married...something seemed safe about that, probably because it seemed so far off and unreal. And now, here we are, IN it. Whoa. Life just makes me dizzy sometimes. So, will update soon with some great pictures my guest photographers have taken while Chip is south of the border.

Hasta pronto!
Instead of a quote- a random thought.
Coolest thing in my opinion about the bunkers being 16 weeks old is that they can supposedly hear things now. Seems like a major mile stone to me- music, laughter, voices, music, Kessler's bark. Yeah!

Happy 4th!

I am avoiding pictures of my belly (on the blog) until Chip gets back. He wants to be surprised by the change. So, I'll do some catch up in August. Anyway, here are a few shots of our stupendous fourth of July weekend on the coast. The Erkkilas hosted another wonderful weekend, this time at their coastal flat. Incredible company, weather, and food filled our three days there.

It's a....

(Ultra sound of baby A and baby B in their bunk beds on the left- individual shots on the right)

Okay, it is not far enough along to say that part yet. But, after a long and eventful journey, we are grateful and ecstatic to announce that….we are pregnant! With twins nonetheless! I am blown away every day by the idea of three hearts beating inside me- whoa. Although there are some twins in the family…genetics did not play a role in the fact that I have some bunk beds set up and expanding in my uterus. Chip and I tried to start a family for a while and were eventually told that the only way we would have our own children was to try in vitro fertilization (IVF). So, despite the many hurdles that make that option daunting, we went for it.

We have experienced a lot of pain, grief, and anxiety along the way, and are more than willing to talk about the details with people who are curious…or maybe struggling with something similar themselves. Infertility will affect about 15 % of couples, and we happened to not know one couple who had gone through this. We did have a few people to talk to, and that was immensely helpful. And, thank you again, you know who you are. Although it is easy to find oneself going through this kind of struggle mostly alone due the private nature of the subject matter, I don’t recommend it. Please, don’t hesitate to call or check in with us if you need someone or know someone who does need someone to talk to. At this point we are actually very grateful for our experience. wow- never thought I would say that. Of course a positive outcome helps us to embrace this mindset, but even before we knew the outcome we had conversations about the work of art we call “life” and how this was a brush stroke that we did not see coming, but added depth and beauty to our piece.



At this point, we are pretty focused on the joy and anticipation of being pregnant and parents- yahoo! It is so surreal. Due date is 1/5/2011, but many twins come before full term. However, my mom, whom my body is modeled after for sure, carried hers full term and then went 11 days late! So, we will just have to see how this all unfolds. We’ll keep ya updated on the progress here, so stay tuned.

(Us- all smiles after finding out the blood test was positive!!)


"A grand adventure is about to begin."
-- Winnie the Pooh

I'm three...I mean 21.

I have a little catching up to do. On June 8th, our puppilessness turned three...which makes her 21 in dog years...which means she can drink! Despite her parents efforts to pressure her into her first beer, she was quite resistant. She is smiling in this picture, but I don't think she took more than a lick and was not impressed. I guess it is more of an acquired taste than I remember. Guess we'll stick to water for now. Otherwise, our girl is doing awesome. She is as sweet and loving as ever, keeping me company when Chip is out of town or working nights. She guards the house with a really mean bark. In fact, she almost got a letter of complaint from the mail person....she HATES the mail person. But, once anyone other than the mail person comes in the door, she wags her tails so hard her entire body moves. She loves the water, finding any river, lake, or puddle she can (and there are lots in Portland this Spring as we have set records for the amount of moisture we have gotten in the past few months), and laying down in it. We really do love her and can't seem to get enough of her adorable furry face.




On the human front, it has been an exciting month too. I graduated with my masters almost three years ago now, but was not done with the process towards my license. I have been gathering the 2,000 client contact hours, 4,000 work hours, and a slew of supervision necessary to be deemed an official Licensed Clinical Social Worker. And, this past month...I met the mark, passed a local exam (already passed my boards), paid some more money, and received my license. Not sure what this really means. In some states it means I can start a private practice. In Oregon, I could have done that already without it....but personally didn't want to. It basically opens some doors and gives me more options. It also means I have completely made the transition to career number two. I feel pretty satisfied with it for the most part, but would not rule out another morphing of this career or a third entirely different one at some point. At this point we are more focused on making it to Chip finishing up as well and figuring out where he lands a job, and as a result, we land our family for the next stint. Vamos a ver!


Currently, my favorite bumper sticker...
"Wag more, bark less."

Pole, Pedal, Paddle

Well, this time I sat out. Emily and I enjoyed helping the boys gather gear and make their transitions as they teamed up to finish 9th in their age group for men's pairs in Bend's Pole, Pedal, Paddle. It was an incredibly beautiful day in Bend, the boys looked good, and fun was had by all. We would all like to return for a second (or first...or 50 millionth for Kyle's dad and his partner who rocked it in their division) stab at this thing. Emily and I checked out our competition...we can take them. No prob. Thanks to the Erkkila's for putting us up at their place an hosting a great weekend adventure.


“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.”
-?

3P: 3D: 30M

Day One- feelin good, beautiful forest

Three people, three days, and thirty miles in this third month of 2010 was the goal. Portland has lots of good coffee, beer, food, art, and community to brag about. But, Forest Park is the shiniest gem this place has to show off, in my opinion. The Wildwood Trail offers 30 delicious miles of meandering trail through the rainforest (in one direction! love that!). While access to the Wildwood is pretty easy from downtown Portland, once on the trail, you hardly know that half a million people are gettin it done just on the other side of the ferns, moss, and dense trees you are wandering through. In my mind, the trail running in Forest Park is to runners what the Wasatch is to skiers. So, to honor and completely saturate ourselves in this trail's greatness, we decided to run the whole thing from end to end in one weekend. Kyle joined Chip and I on this adventure. We are grateful he did because without him there I could have just made this whole thing up, and, he carried his camera all 30 miles and documented this adventure like a pro. Oh, and he is a really fun dude that you want along on just about any adventure you embark on.
PS- Kessler joined us for day one and three. She did a great job, but her herding instincts drove her to run a lot more miles than any of us humans. In two days, she probably ran 60 miles. We thought that was enough.

Day Two- muddier, longer, and a bit more pain.

Before you put us up on some pedestal about how healthy we are, let me complete the story by letting you know that part of agreeing to participate in this activity included a commitment to go out to eat each day after we were done running. We rewarded ourselves with treats like pizza, burritos, crepes, beer, and burgers. .. we ate our way through the weekend just as much as we as we ran our way through it. And, it was equally as enjoyable as the incredible trail. We discovered some really stellar spots in the city.

Thanks, to my husband for organizing our put-ins and put-outs ;)...and agreeing to do this adventure even though he has no time to run or train for anything these days (Pretty much we all "off the couched" this....that might explain the pain I am in right now). Thanks to Kyle and Emily for being our partners in crime again this weekend- pictures, shuttling, eating, laughing, and loving the city with us. So much fun. What's next?!

Day Three- 30.25 miles complete!

"A lot of people run a race to see who's the fastest. I run to see who has the most guts."
- Steve Prefontaine (link)

Snooze Button

Haven’t written in a while…again. I did some sand tray therapy as part of my social work studies and one thing that illuminated itself at that time and pops into my head often since then, is the idea that hibernation is good. It works for bears. However, my favorite example, and the one that came to life in my sand tray, was that of a tree. I love trees. I know, who doesn’t, right? But, I have always felt this affinity for them similar to that of my attraction to blooming flowers…or puppies…
(a sunny afternoon at our new favorite back country spot below Mt Hood)


I grew up around lots of trees, especially deciduous ones that put on a fantabulous color show in the fall…and then seemed to hibernate. They would stand there looking dead all winter, getting clobbered by snow, wind, and rain…naked. I felt sorry for them. But, then, come April, they would come back to life, and grow back not only the leaves that they dropped in the fall, but would extend their branches a tad bit further. That bright green tip reaching just beyond last year’s mark... hibernation made that possible. Trees are smart. Some of them give themselves an entire season to rest, shed the excess, and draw into their center so that they may have the energy and ability to grow that extra little bit, be that much stronger, stable, and able to support that much more life. So like a tree, I am…have been… in a bit of a hibernation, at least a blogernation (yeah urban dictionary, what do you think of THAT word?!). And, I trust that upon revival, I will extend my green tips further. In the meantime, doing my best to find center.



(an awesome weekend trip to the coast with Emily and Kyle- skim boarding on the warm, February, Oregon waters)



PS- Unlike the tree, I don’t have to stand still, or naked, to pull into center and regain strength. So, here are some photos from things of the past six weeks. Hasta pronto…mas pronto esta vez.

"Accept the present and intend the future."
- Deepak Chopra