It takes a village...

..to raise twins.  After being a part of so many other people's villages through teaching and counseling, it is so nice to be on the other end...creating and discovering the village who will help us raise Ruby and Owen.  There have been so many visitors and so much help these first months with Ruby and Owen- the village is bigger than we ever expected and is really stepping up to the challenge.  

We are so appreciative of everyone's efforts in making the trip to see us or stopping on their way through and lending as much help as possible while they are here.  The amazing faces in these pictures helped us run errands to boring places, strolled our babies around and soothed them when necessary so we could get things done.  They made food, washed dishes, walked the dog, vacuumed, held babies, entertained us, and most of all, loved our kids.  Also, not to be forgotten are our local friends and family.  There are a few of you here, but we will get all of ya eventually as your efforts with meals, walks, phone consultations, and general support has been invaluable!

 Amy, Shelly, and Bonnie sharin some love

 Shelly came with her own baby- Finn the Rhodesian Ridgeback.  Puppies and babies- pretty cute.

Aaron(allowed us to convince him to hold both), Uncle Chris (matching outfits), Amato(yes, its true, Owen fell asleep in his arms), and Cousin Finn (just sweet, eh?)

Where we at- Three months

Ruby and Owen are now three months old!  It seems impossible that three months have already passed since those first days at the hospital and home where we did not have a clue, were in awe and scared at the same time of what we just started, and had so much healing to do (mostly on my part) to get back to some semblance of normal functioning....and here we are!  Feels good.  

This entry may have more words and facts than you care to read.  Don't.  Just look at the pictures, enjoy, and I promise I won't quiz you on anything I wrote in here later (not even Oma or Nana!).  It is mostly for when we "book the blog" (love that term, Bella).

Every day is a little different around here.  Although composed of a small handful of activities in a systematic order, the times are always different, the speed at which we cycle through "feed, wake, sleep" and the collateral events that accompany those things (like changing diapers, playing, and walks in the neighborhood) is different and, the people who are here to help changes as well.  

Ruby and Owen are changing...developing...so quickly!  At this point they are alert for two hours at a time before they need a nap, and are able to coo, smile, and interact with the world around them- so incredible.

Ruby -

Length- 23"

Weight- 9lbs 1oz

This little gem has been smiling the biggest baby smile I have ever seen since about 8 weeks.  She practiced many times before this in her sleep or when she was "getting her money's worth out of her diaper", but around 8 weeks, she would do it in response to our smile, or something that we did that caused her utter joy.  Things that make her smile are; getting her diaper changed, specific rattles, and reclining on our bent legs facing us for a conversation.

Ruby has a significantly larger head than Owen, so when she lagged behind him a bit in holding it up on her own, we were not surprised.  However, once she decided to hold it up, she figured she would apply this skill to tummy time as well and suddenly seemed totally confident wielding around that beautiful head.  I think she might actually like being on her front side now.  For most of the three months tummy time has been a struggle for us- not that fun to have your face smashed into the ground.  Anyway, things are looking up (ha!) in this department.

These are the sweet packages that I bring home from our walk each day to unwrap and feed

She has also started batting at things hanging from the gym and over her bouncy chair.  At about 9 weeks she started to do this really cute hap hazard swinging, like her arms where numb or something, but she had a little bit of control over where they ended up.  Then, over night, at about 10 weeks it became very directed hitting.  She loves to hit this snail and watch him swing around all crazy in front in front of her.  Chip says it is no wonder kids are so drawn to drugs, what with all the floating and swinging animals we expose them to so early in life.

Other randomness- Ruby loves mobiles, especially the one in her pack and play.  She also loves to kick her legs while laying on her back.  she will have these periods of total spastic leg kicking that will go on for 10 or 15 minutes.  Hilarious to watch and seems to fit her feisty personality.  It is also probably why she is not able to sleep unswaddled yet...we tried...which led to several sleepless nights.  Maybe in a few weeks we will try again.

Owen-

Length- 22.75"

Weight- 8lbs 7oz

Our boy wonder.  He smiles, but more with his eyes than his mouth.  They get really big and full of wonder and he looks so pleased, usually after doing something really fun and new or while cooing at you.  

Oh my! The cooing.  I could not have told you what cooing sounded like...and then I heard it.  It is definitely the best sound in the universe.  Owen loves to coo, and I love to listen.  I want to eat that sound.  It would be the most decadent morsel one could consume.  

Owen has also been holding his head up for some time now.  I sure am glad that both of them do because without that skill, I am not sure I would be able to get them both in my arms at once when I am alone.  Owen's other physical feat is his ability to not only hold his own weight with his legs, but if you pull him into a sitting position when he is laying on his back, he can push himself up into a standing position.  And, he has been doing that since about 6 weeks!  It looks unreal...impossible...like when an ant picks up a twig five times the size of its body. 

Not to sound repetitive, but Owen can also bat at things hanging with precision.  Very cool to watch.  And the crazy thing is that both Ruby and Owen developed this skill at almost the same exact time.  It is like they are already watching and learning from each other.

Randomness about Owen- he LOVES his binkie (Chip prefers we use the word binkie because he had no idea what a binkie was before these two were born and therefore really feels part of the parenthood club when he uses the word).  I actually worry about how much he loves his binkie, but he is so small and sweet and sensitive that I am really glad he is so comforted by something so simple.   Owen, is sleeping swaddle free as of 10 weeks- also fits his mellow personality.  And, he looks so stinkin cute laying there with his arms sprawled about in total peace when he sleeps- love it.

"Change always comes bearing gifts."
  ~Price Pritchett

Bathtime

There has been no time nor opportunity for pumping milk, and therefore, dad does not get to feed Ruby and Owen.  This is something we hope to remedy sooner than later.  For now, not to be thwarted in bonding with his kids, Chip has taken on bath time as HIS duty and pleasure.  He calls it "The Spa".  He takes one child at a time in the bathroom, fills their little tub with warm water, and returns them to the outside world clean, relaxed, and adorable.

Owen relaxing in the spa....Owen getting a "hair treatment"

 The finished product!  A cute, clean boy!

Customer number two- Ruby Elizabeth

Ruby, grateful for the special time with her daddy...and she loves the spa.  Who doesn't?

Owen on the left and Ruby on the right.  Dad always ends the bath in front of the heater.

"Don't throw the baby(ies) out with the bath water!"

Parenthood

 OT and the Ruster kickin it on the cloud Boppy

Mom, they left us!  Are we really on our own?  Can we handle it?

So, here we are.  Mostly on our own with only the occasional visitor now.  Are we ready? "Trust your instincts, Dr Spock advised back in 1946 ; but that involves a leap of faith that many modern parents find terrifying. " (Gibbs) I read this statement, written in the back article of a Time magazine, the very same day I was crying about feeling so lost and unsure about how and when to feed the twins.  Pretty sure I was also worried about the huge amount of time our babies seemed to have binkies in their mouths, and well, let's be honest, I also fretted a bit about whether they should be napping in a certain place for a certain time and whether letting them cry was alright or not.  I may have also worried about whether they were getting enough milk or not...just maybe.

The article was talking about one woman's chosen way to raise her kids, the book she wrote about it, and the controversy it caused.  The author was making the point that what appeals to some people about this woman's chosen method of childrearing is her tone of certainty...something that is hard to come by in parents...myself included!  I mean, what is there to be certain about?!  I hate it when people tell me "don't worry" about this or that- kind of invalidating if you ask me AND, more importantly, I am not always worrying...I am thinking...out loud...it is how I come to my best conclusions usually.  There is so much information out there these days and so much to consider.  How is one to know what information is important, and what can be ignored?

But, the author's very last point also hit home for me and helped me feel motivated to have a new goal in this whole parenthood thing.  She says, "...as if it's a puzzle to be solved rather than a picture to be painted (parenthood), and there is no way to know what it will look like until it's done."

So, my goal is to paint this DuRoss Family portrait along with Chip, Ruby, Owen, and Kessler...to walk the fine line between worry and thoughtfulness with as much grace as I can muster...and just take in the process...all the really beautiful strokes as well as the less precise ones, and to accept them all as part of our special masterpiece.  Wish me luck!

Owen and  mom

PS-    we are actually doing  really well towards this goal these days.  I am still playing catch up with the blog- (which is also my journal and the scrapbook) .  We will make it to current times , thoughts and feelings one of these days. :)


PPS- you may be asking yourself, "when does a mom of twins have time to read Time Magazine?"  Well,  A) I don't.  This was a one time event since they were born to date, hence my surprise in the serendipity of the message.  B) Even getting that one chance to read something non-baby was a luxury afforded to me by having my mom around.  Thanks again, mom!